Next month marks my birthday of becoming a mom. Along with my first baby turning seven, of course! But that age is a milestone I’m not ready to accept yet, as well as my youngest daughter turning two the week after that!
This also marks seven years of breastfeeding and seven years of me wearing nursing bras. I’m not here to tell you how hard it’s been or a bunch of bla bla bla…..that will bring up lots of personal feelings about how others choose to feed their babies. Because I’ve learned, some women, even 30 years into motherhood, are still emotionally affected about their choice to have or not have breastfed their children. I have been very fortunate to stay home with my girls, and experience the extended opportunity of nursing into the toddler years. And I am grateful for that.
On that note, I do want to pass along this post – 15 Reasons Why Breastfeeding Doesn’t Suck and is Worth A Try, over at Conscience Parenting. It is an amazingly accurate piece portraying how I have felt through the years on this journey of breastfeeding, with humor attached.
This week I shared a rare sweet nap with my toddler who I still call my baby. Actually, I accidentally fell asleep with her, woke up late, panicked, ran to make an afternoon cup of coffee and rushed out the door to pick up the big girls only to forget I had five miles worth of gas left in my car.
I’m always rushing as a result of trying to squish a thousand tasks into 100 seconds. Except when I sit down to fulfill my toddler girl’s sweet requests of “Mommy, milky, please,” or “milky side?” She still has a way of looking at me with the most endearing eyes while she nurses, telling me she’s getting exactly the love she needs at that very moment. It’s the perfect peace for both of us, and her sisters feel it too. Which is why I’m just not ready to give it up.
I go in spurts of being ready close the door on this phase of life. I joke about applying to the show What not to Wear with a plea about how my fashion, or there lack of, has been hampered since January 2004 by either maternity cloths or nursing tanks, and dresses made specially for quick access in the moment of needing to calm a crying baby or a toddler with a boo boo.
So there it is, all the reasons why my commitment to breastfeeding just keeps going. Because on days like today, among the hectic schedules, deadlines, and expectations I place on myself, it all takes a pause for nursing. I snuggle up with my baby, stroke her hair and find calmness in her peace.
