Midwife Support is the Best Push into Motherhood

This week is National Midwifery Week. Also this week, I’ll be celebrating the birth of becoming a parent – when my oldest daughter turns seven on Friday. So naturally, I’ve been thinking a lot about her birth story, plus the births of my other two daughters that followed. I have a tradition of telling my daughters every year on their birthday, about the day they were born. They love this.

Each of their births were very different, happening with three different midwifes in two different bathtubs. The first was at a hospital and the second two were at a freestanding birth center. All of them were wonderful. But one thing is for certain, having a midwife by my side was the best push into motherhood.

In May 2011, Amnesty International launched a one-year update to its groundbreaking report, Deadly Delivery: The Maternal Health Care Crises in the United States.

The following statistics are just a few that you can find in the report, which you can read more about here.

Did you know that the United States cesarean rate in 2009 was 32.9 percent, an all-time high following a 13 consecutive year rise? Did you know you it’s possible to drastically reduce your percentage of having a c-section by choosing a midwife supported birth with minimal medical interventions?

Or how about this? There are 49 countries that have lower maternal mortality ratios than the United States. And in states with cesarean rates higher than 33 percent, the risk of maternal death is 21 percent higher than in states with cesarean rates lower than 33 percent.

I myself, was scared to death of the possibility of having to have a c-section and the recovery process that followed. This procedure is a wonderful thing to have when it’s needed. When it’s not needed is when it becomes a problem. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about today.

I’m just going to tell you how having a midwife supported birth gave me the best push into motherhood, and left me feeling empowered that I could do anything after enduring a natural birth and the amazing raw unmedicated, emotional experience of birthing a baby.

The feelings and emotions of holding my baby skin-to-skin, chest–to-chest, in the moments after she was born are ones I can still recall in an instant, as if it happened just yesterday. I still remember every word I said to her the moment I looked at her for the first time. And exactly what she looked like. I could say the same about my second two babies as well. But there is just something uniquely different about the first, and the birth of becoming a parent. 

I had to push for three hours and 17 minutes, working for the moment to meet her. It was my midwife, my husband, and I, in an intimate setting in a small bathroom with candles burning and a nurse who had Norah Jones playing in our CD player (this was before iPods so I’m showing my age).

Just when I was desperate enough to take any measure to get my baby out, my midwife knew just the right, calming thing say – giving me the confidence to keep going.

After the birth when I had a breastfeeding question, my daughter was jaundice and the hospital staff was suggesting I supplement with formula – she was supportive and encouraging in my decision not to.

When I showed up at my two-week post-partum visit tired and unsure about myself on this new journey of motherhood, she encouraged me to sleep with my baby (giving me tips to do so safely) and made feel completely normal for wanting to do so. Woooeshhhh, that helped me like you have no idea!

That midwife was Margaret Strickhouser. Her and her incredible wisdom are now helping to lead a team on a mission to Bring Birth Back, a campaign to bring awareness to birth center births, midwife care and the quest to open the Atlanta Birth Center.

Ten months after that birth of my first baby, I moved to a city where we do have a freestanding birth center. I immediately went there for my well women’s care and then the birth of my next two babies. I’m talking about the Lisa Ross Birth and Women’s Center, which has become nearly like a second home in my heart.

I could go on and on with all the ways I’ve been touched, taught, encouraged and blessed by the midwifes I have known the last seven years. I have also had the privilege of having them as my friends, getting hugged by them exactly when I needed it, and having the pleasure of working with the staff over the last four years as I have served on the board of directors for the LRBWC.

When I found out my two-year-old had a mouth full of cavities, which the dentist told me was the result of her nursing at night, I went straight to the birth center crying and found the knowledge and advise I needed.

Yes I could go on and on. Everyone needs a midwife to hug. And sometimes midwives need a hug too. They work long hours with a passion for caring. So during this National Midwifery Week, I encourage you to drop a note, an email or a post and let them know how special they are.

Some days I feel like I owe my success of mothering, seven years of breastfeeding and three natural births – to the midwifes, and the women working with them, who wholeheartedly support this mentality of mothering.

Every mom needs a village, and midwife is a good place to start.

A note about the photo at the top of this post: That is me in a pool of water, immediately after the birth of my third daughter at LRBWC. It was taken by my friend who was at the birth. Nine months later I was there for the birth of her third baby. And now I can never imagine life without this friend. I am so very thankful for my village.