Nursing in public doesn’t have to be a BIG deal

Incase you have not heard by now, hundreds of moms made national and local news on December 28 partaking in a national nurse-in at more than 30 Target stores across the United States.

It was organized through the Facebook group, “Target Nurse-In,” and it was started by Michelle Hickman in Houston, Texas after she was asked by a Target employee to go in a fitting room to nurse her baby. As of today the group has swelled to 7518 members, helped by all the recent media about the event.

I have mixed feelings about this and what a nurse-in really accomplishes. I am proud of the moms who went out and stood their ground to say they have a right to feed their babies wherever and however they please. But I wish we didn’t have to do that in the first place. And I hope these participating moms will continue, on a daily basis, to nurse in public confidently and respectfully.

Nursing in public while displaying ease and grace is what makes nursing seem normal and acceptable, and paves the way for other mothers to do the same in our society.

Unfortunately this is not quite the message some people hear when they see a nurse-in on their 6:00 news. While a nurse-in can be very educational to some, it seems a bit rebellious to others. And nursing a baby in public is anything but rebellious.

New moms are nervous about getting out with their new bundles of love. Most are very apprehensive about nursing in public, at least in the beginning. I know I was.

I still remember my first time. I was sitting in a booth with my six-week-old baby at The Cheesecake Factory while meeting my mom and her friend for lunch. When my baby started to cry I got nervous. I fumbled about, trying to figure out what to do.  I was going to get up and walk my screaming baby across the restaurant to the bathroom. Until my mom’s friend calmly said, “Just nurse her. Go ahead.”

I needed that little bit of permission to feel like it was allowed.

Now I have been a breastfeeding mama for seven years and I can’t think of a place that I have not nursed a baby! I even mastered nursing my third baby while wearing her in an Ergo carrier, as I peacefully walked the grocery isles to accomplish my shopping. No one ever noticed and no one ever cared.

But if they did, I was confident and knowledgeable enough to tell them that according to my state laws I was allowed to nurse my baby in public any way I chose.

I have never been approached and asked to “cover up” or move to a private place to do breastfeed.

And yes, I have plopped myself down in the isles of Target to nurse a crying baby. Once when my two big girls were with me ,we even made ourselves quite comfortable in the beanbag isle! After our frazzled group recovered, we made it to checkout desk in a calm manor.

The way I see it, a crying baby is much more disruptive and stressful to others (including mom and siblings) than a content baby snuggled with mama getting just what she needs.

As I got more experienced at nursing in public, I noticed not all moms were confident doing so. And I began to feel like nursing in public was an act of advocacy for other moms, future moms, and even my own daughters!

The more of us moms who make breastfeeding in public seem like no big deal, the less of a big deal it will be and the more our society will accept it.

There have been times in restaurants and in my pediatrician’s waiting room where I’ve seen new moms obviously nervous about nursing, and I’ve nursed my baby just to make her feel more at ease about it.

So to all the new moms out there who didn’t feel brave enough to join a nurse-in this week, I’m here to tell you it’s OK. You don’t have to shine a spotlight on yourself to nurse your baby in public. Doing it any old regular way is just fine.

I just hope you do it. Do it for your baby, for other moms who are scared to do it and for all the babies who want nothing else other than the best milk mom has to offer.

Below is a photo of me nursing my third baby on a crowded beach in Florida. It’s not exactly Target. But it’s these moments that I would not trade for the world.