I used to joke with my kids by telling them, “I’m the boss of the house.” Then they got smart and said, “No, I’m the boss of me.” Really, I think all us parents are kidding ourselves if we think we’re in charge. We may tell ourselves that we set the examples, and make the rules and decide what road we take on general family choices. But I’m learning that when I sit back and listen to my kids, they know exactly what our family needs.
I was reminded of this many times recently while our family spent entire days together at home doing nothing but mounds (and mounds and mounds and mounds) of laundry after lice was discovered on our kids’ heads. And since we all bed share at some point of the night, in revolving beds, the buggers ended up sharing our heads too – meaning none of us were spared. Yuck!
During the week-long process of de-licing our house, our washing machine and dryer BOTH broke and new ones were delivered on New Year’s Day (you can bet there was some begging on my part to get that done). So unplanned to us, we rung in the new year getting clean clothes and clean heads. Once again, I was not the boss of that plan!
In the process of it all the kids spent many hours entertaining themselves. And let me tell you, they did just fine.
Yesterday these cardboard houses that we made during our TV Free Summer where the tube stayed off, made a resurgence. They got some repairs with fresh duck tape and my oldest daughter created some new “games” and “TV channels” on the walls inside the houses.
Then much to my surprise, last night I discovered – along with the New Year’s Eve Family Day sign up top from two days ago – the following sign that my oldest daughter taped to our TV armoire. Then, she told me the rule applied to me too! Now look who’s boss.
Because of the lice fiasco and ignoring leaving the kids to entertain themselves for hours on hours, we finally sat down to do our New Year’s Day dinner and family resolutions, a day late.
Last year we started this tradition where we, as a family, share our New Year resolutions while all drawing pictures of what we share. Then I memorialized the resolutions by writing them and sewing them into a book, which we revisited on New Year’s Eve.
While telling our New Year’s resolutions my kids kept reminding me that I’m not in charge here, and that sometimes their ideas are much better than mine.
Too often I hurry my kids along, out the door, to make their beds, to pick up their toys, put their shoes on, and well…you know the drill. I have my agenda and they have theirs. Sometimes we meet in the middle and sometimes my ideas get thrown to the wind for a game of Storytelling or Go Fish. When it’s the later, I never regret it.
Last night, I loved what my kids said.
My middle child said, “I want to smell more flowers.” She also drew pictures of our pets, those with us and those we have lost. And she did her best to draw stairs because she likes going upstairs to play now, as we are slowly taking steps (physically and mentally) to move some big kid play items upstairs – soon to be followed by whole bed rooms I’m sure.
Everyone is feeling the need to stretch out a bit right now. Home improvements have been on our lists since last year. Which is why I found it ironically intuitive when our toddler asked me to draw a picture on her paper of “The Brown House” – the name we call our 90-year-old craftsman house that owns us jus as much as we own it.
My oldest daughter was very detailed on her resolutions about her plans to move her bedroom, along with her sister, upstairs. She also drew about sledding with mom, building a big snowman in Colorado with her cousin, looking at more stars, and finding more consultations. On the back of her paper she wrote, “Pray for Mae Mae a lot,” who is my mom suffering from Multiple Sclerosis. Along with, “Have lots of fun with family,” and “Make lots of crafts.”
Now doesn’t all that sound lovely? I think yes. Because on a busy day when I’m feeling overwhelmed with all the little things in life that don’t really mater at all, I’ll glance up at their New Year’s resolution pictures on the fridge and know exactly who’s in charge here.
