Handwriting doesn’t come easy for my kindergarten-aged child.
Therefore, when my middle girl spontaneously decided to make a card for dad last weekend – with a handwritten note – it was a monumental event!
I protected her space, and her work, from her sisters. I informed my husband what she was doing so he knew to make a BIG deal about it. He took the card to work, hung it on his wall and texted me a picture of it to share with our daughter.
We wanted her to know that her card meant a lot.
My middle girl, like my eight-year-old daughter who I featured in a post having a play date to write report on Elephant Seals for fun, has been in a Montessori classroom since she was two-years-old.
They have had the same teachers and even spent one year in the same classroom together.
But their learning styles are completely different, providing an interesting observation regarding their Montessori experiences and how they have benefited from it.
Handwriting is the perfect example of us putting our faith in the Montessori learning method and our belief that our middle girl would do it when she was ready.
Sometimes I wondered if I should be prompting her to practice writing at home. My instincts always answered no. Because I didn’t want to make it a chore that frustrated her – even though I wish she were better at it, and that it came easier to her.
I feared if I made her do it she would rebel, it would backfire, and I would be taking the fun out of learning. So I didn’t do it.
Her teacher assured us she was on track and she would do it when she was ready. We waited, hoping she was right.
Last week in the parents library at our daughters’ school, I picked up the book Montessori Read and Write, a parents’ guide to literacy for children.
The first page I flipped to when I opened the book was randomly page 32.
“Children learn best when they have chosen an activity themselves,” jumped out at me in bold print.
I know this. I have known it for a long time. But BANG – it’s so nice to hear it again. Because it is SO true!
Early on we recognized that our middle child is the student who learns by observation, and will wait until she is fully motivated to join in.
She is helpful. She is a leader in the classroom, respectful to the environment and her classmates (so we hear).
On the other hand, she does not bring home a bag full of completed work on Fridays like my oldest daughter has always done. She doesn’t wear me out asking how to spell endless amounts of words until I send her to fetch her own dictionary, like my oldest girl has done since she was five.
We try not to compare our kids. However as caregivers we have the most experience with our own children. So not comparing them is nearly imposable as we make parenting decisions and evaluate if we are doing a good job raising our little people.
Last year, when our middle girl would have been considered in pre-k, we wondered if she would ever learn write her name. In the beginning of the year her teacher agreed that she would keep a watch on the situation, and possibly give her a gentle push to choose more challenging work that required a pencil.
We were all crossing our fingers and believing she would do it when she was ready.
And by the end of the school year, with all the tools and knowledge readily available to her, she did it!
She started writing when she was ready.
Handwriting still doesn’t come easy for her and it’s not her favorite thing to do. She doesn’t write birthday cards for her friends for fun, and she still writes letters backwards.
She did start kindergarten writing her first name, but not her last name. She started kindergarten already able to read basic words and Bob Books. She enjoys doing the parts of the horse lesson at school and learning about water and land formations.
She is smart! She enjoys learning. But handwriting doesn’t come easy.
She can however, write in cursive (the traditional Montessori way of teaching handwriting) when completing reading lessons with objects, like a jack – followed by drawing a picture of the object and writing the name beside it.
“Look mom,” she said proudly showing me her work from school. “It’s a perfect cursive j. It’s my best one ever!”
Yes it was. And I could tell by looking at her paper that she worked a long time on the lesson – erasing, and rewriting to get things right. Doing a good job was important to her.
Just like when she was making her card for dad.
“I want to do my best handwriting,” she said. “I want this to be perfect for Daddy.”
I fought back my emotions of sadness watching her work so hard, while being joyful at the same time seeing her proudly working to write the words, “I love you Dad.”
She erased, and started over, and began her card by asking me, “How do you spell I?”
It was bittersweet.
She made that card because she wanted to, out of the goodness of her sweet little heart and she happily tried her very, very best.
Then she sealed it in an envelope and put out for a surprise for dad to find while vacuuming out the cars.
As a protective mama bear, I pulled my oldest girl aside (who was already on the verge of causing an upset about where the card was being placed for the surprise) and told her she better not say A WORD about that card not being perfect when daddy opened it.
Things come easy to her in school. She’s always been a fast learner. At age six she had a calendar and kept track of all the family events and important dates, writing them all down and checking them off after they were over.
My middle girl will be six in five weeks. She’s still a little foggy on what happens which days during the week.
But I’m not comparing! I’m just saying, she will do things when she is ready.
I’m sure it’s not the only example of when things won’t come easy to her. But I have faith that she will do her best when she chooses to do it herself.
