Today is day 8 of my 40 days of yoga. Yesterday threw me for a loop and I didn’t make it on my mat. I found out in the morning my husband’s grandmother passed away. She was 91 and, had a good long life and died at home sitting in her favorite chair. Beyond the reality of the loss I find it beautiful and peaceful. But still, it’s the loss of a life and the passing of time the leaves me unsettled. Thinking about the logistics of getting all six of us to a funeral 6 hours away with a baby who stresses herself into hysterics crying in the car, had me struggling to find the ground beneath my feet. The idea of not going was hard too.
My kindergartner wanted a Mommy day so she was home spending the day with baby girl and me. Her request was to go to Whole Foods, shop and eat at the hot bar. It took all morning to do one thing at time, and get us out the door. Once we get somewhere we stay a while. Unloading groceries after calming a baby who just screamed the car for 20 minutes means it takes a long time to unload the groceries. This is life. There are bigger problems to have.
Every Monday is taco night and my routine is to make the beans in the crockpot before I leave for school pick up. Then after dance, dinner is nearly ready. The dial on the crockpot is broken and I didn’t notice it was not on. No beans. No dinner. Trying to remedy the situation by boiling them for a long time, I burnt the beans. Then I burnt the potatoes. All because I was multitasking, feeling unsettled and not focused on anything wholeheartedly.
At 11:51 when I was able to creep away from baby girl on the bed. But as soon as I got my mat unrolled for some goodnight yoga, she was up again. I settled for shavasana lying in bed and called it a day.
After my morning meditation and talking to a several family members and close friends, I felt better about where I stand. It’s hard to accept decisions that are not what we want in our ideal world. But what else are we going to do?
Then it was time to get out of my head and onto my mat. I welcomed some deep twisting, finding strength and looking at things from a different perspective.
My yoga baby lasted a long time next to me. I discovered she likes to listen to Elizabeth Mitchell’s You are My Sunshine album. It’s one of those I don’t mind myself. And fitting for the nice sunshine beaming through our windows. We made it though the entire album! So lots of good of yoga time on day 8. My mind, heart and soul needed it.